When Threats Fail
by Idlesana
Summary: A less amazing Phan fiction: Dan falls victim to Phil's touches.


Disclaimer: I own nothing!

A/N: Well now. I admit I'm a bit biased writing fanfiction about real people. It makes me feel like a creeper to be honest. Then again, I'm nothing if not a creep. As to why I wrote this story is because Dan was talking about shipping in a couple of his videos. And I needed to procrastinate. So. You know. Phan.

Also, I'm sorry for not using any imagination on the plot. I just wanted to play around with words.

* * *

There is nothing casual in the way Phil touches him. Or rather, Dan finds he can't take any of his friend's touches without casualties.

They sit on their couch playing video games while high on nostalgia, and Dan might get unnecessarily upset when Phil loses yet another of their hearts to some man-eating succubus, but that is only because they sit so close to one another that Phil's body heat is the only concrete thing Dan can truly pay attention to.

So he might yell a bit, and slap Phil on the back of his head. The only regret he manages to have, though, is that he is not clad in a T-shirt like Phil. The fabric of his long-sleeved shirt is not thick, but it is an unbearable obstacle on the most optimal moment to get involved in some skin on skin contact.

His own perverseness only makes Dan grow more irate.

He makes an attempt to roll up his sleeves despite that.

"How can you possibly be so bad at this game?" Dan barks when Phil moves away a bit to give him room to readjust his shirt and fails to return to his former position of body heat sharing goodness.

The look Phil gives him is devastating. It's all sad eyes, hunched shoulders and a trembling bottom lip. Dan does not believe an animal cute or baby enough exists that could manage the same expression, no matter how many times he'd kick it.

About to apologize_, _Dan opens his mouth to say something nice for once, but fails to say anything at all when Phil deems it decent to lean in and rest his forehead on Dan's lap.

"I'm sorry, all right?" Phil says in his twisted attempt to ask for forgiveness, his warm breath creeping through Dan's trousers, onto his thigh, and up, up, up uncomfortably high. His cheeks growing hot, Dan thinks that Phil will be truly sorry only if he takes notice of certain effects their position has roused.

"Get off me Phil," Dan says then, mostly because he doesn't want his friend to have to feel sorry. Not about this.

Phil's only response is to open his mouth so wide that there is a faint feel of teeth against Dan's leg, followed by another breath with much more purpose than the first one had had.

A small malfunction happens inside Dan's brain just then. As a result, Phil finds himself on the floor, staring at the ceiling while Dan makes a dignified retreat to his room –more or less screaming.

* * *

"Dan? Dan, can I come in?" Phil asks from the foot of his bed, having had the decency to knock on the door but not enough sense to wait for a permission to enter.

Dan's dissenting mumble somehow gets taken as an affirmative, and soon enough the bed dips under the weight of the intruder. Thinking that perhaps imitating a corpse would move having to face this particular problem to another day, Dan does just that.

"What is up with you?" Phil asks, honest curiosity in his voice, as he sits cross legged on the bed and observes Dan's unwillingness to move a muscle.

"G' 'way," Dan says more to his pillow that he does to Phil. That is probably the reason Phil does not heed to his request.

Instead, he leans down with his damnable face and asks, "What," in a way that if Dan's thigh felt slightly violated earlier, his neck feels thoroughly assaulted now. In an instant, Dan's corpse presentation reaches the stage of rigor mortis.

"No, seriously. What's wrong?" Phil demands, his breath still wondrously warm and the tips of his bangs awfully tickling against Dan's cheek. "I won't let go until you tell me."

Dan blissfully misinterprets the meaning of the threat at first, thinking Phil will only keep asking until a suitable lie is told to satisfy his curiosity. Phil proves his thoughts wrong, though, by wrapping himself around Dan like a koala bear. Which is nice.

Very nice indeed.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" Dan freaks out, struggling against the hold with all the enthusiasm of someone who doesn't really want to be let go.

"Threatening you!" Phil replies, failing miserably in his attempt to sound like a scoundrel when all it does is make Dan want to swoon.

"Just get off me you twat!" Dan laughs out, still not finding the effort in him to actually fight himself free.

"Not before you tell me," Phil says, determined. "I'll touch your neck if you don't."

"Never surrender! Never give up!" Dan manages before the attack.

If Dan's neck is a fuel, then Phil's lips must be an oxidant. There is a flash of white behind his eyelids and suddenly it feels like something is burning inside him, spreading unbearable heat at its wake. Dan only manages to grip his bed sheets and close his eyes impossibly tight before an utterly mortifying and undignified sound escapes his mouth.

They both still, surprised, and Dan can almost physically feel the oncoming awkwardness. The only comfort he finds is the fact that Phil can only blame himself for having to hear Dan make such a noise.

That is until Phil leans down again, lips pressing hot against the skin just below Dan's ear, adding to the absurdity of the situation by mouthing the area in a way that could not be any less unintentional. Dan is already having trouble handling the lips and teeth, but it's a downright impossibility when he feels Phil's tongue tasting his skin.

He tries to bite his hand hard enough to prevent the embarrassing noises his throat keeps forming, but Phil takes a hold of his wrist and keeps it at an inconvenient distance away from his mouth.

"…P-Phil," Dan manages to say in a way that he perhaps should not, because Phil replies by adding suction to a spot that triggers a series of uncontrollable little spasms around his body.

When the attack on his neck relents, Dan can't say he's sure which way the horizon lies anymore. Not when Phil flips him around to lie on his back, a knee finding its way between Dan's legs as if on accident. Phil's heavily dilated pupils tell another story, though.

"Daniel," he breathes, looming over as he demands for, "The truth."

"Neverrrr," Dan swears, Phil's kneeling against pleasurable places making him bite his bottom lip until Phil leans down to release it with his mouth.

* * *

Several hours later, they have long since run out of stamina, but continue on going on pure stubbornness.

"Daaan," Phil whines, his hands groping Dan's chest in a completely half-assed manner. "I'm tired!"

Dan's muscles seem to have stopped working altogether, and all he can do is lie still and try to catch his breath that he lost during some of Phil's carried out threats. Despite Phil's complete lack of villainy, he did manage to produce some pretty decent acts of it. Dan's personal favourite must've been the one that made them lose all of their clothes somewhere around the floor area.

Still, there is a thing called _'too much'_ and seeing how they're both still out of breath and too tired to even move properly, Phil's persistence was starting to grow irritating.

Dan finds himself unwilling to be the better man, though, and just whines back a, "Shut uuup."

"Nooo," Phil protests and buries his head into the crook of Dan's neck. "I'll take pictures of your current state and sell them on ebay!"

"Are you blackmailing me now?" Dan asks, intending to laugh but letting out a very unattractive chortle instead. "I'll have you know that no threat, blackmail or bribe will make me-"

"I'll buy you maltesers," Phil interrupts, crossing his arms on Dan's chest and resting his chin on them to have the perfect angle to smirk down on Dan.

"A big bag?" Dan asks despite his mind trying to have him salvage the little dignity he supposedly had left. Who was he even trying to kid? What little dignity he had ever had was lost long ago.

"The biggest," Phil promises.

"Fine. Fine," Dan smiles, forcing his sore muscles work enough so that he could run his fingers through Phil's now messy hair. "I like being with you and I like touching you and I… just like you in general, I suppose."

Phil closes his eyes and leans against Dan's hand, his smile still in place and not a hint of surprise in sight.

"My, my, Daniel," Phil drawls out, lacing his words with unusual sarcasm. "Who would have thought?"

"Shut up you," Dan laughs, pushing his palm against Phil's face in an attempt to shove him away. Taking Dan's hand in his, Phil moves them to rest against his cheek to enable eye contact again.

"I find you quite fanciful also," he says all serious if not for the words and places a kiss on Dan's wrist.

"So I've gathered," Dan agrees, his tone of voice bordering on dry amusement.

There is a moment of blissful silence after that and Dan almost falls asleep listening to it. But apparently Phil is not yet ready to shut his trap, because he opens it to ask in an uncertain voice, "What do we do now?"

Dan lets out an exaggerated groan, answering with, "Now we sleep, in the morning you will go buy me the promised maltesers and then we continue as we were."

"Continue as we were? So this changes nothing?" And by '_this'_ Phil apparently means their nakedness and previous actions which lead to it.

"I already live with you, spend most of my time with you, get cosy with you whenever and wherever and hopefully from now onward commit more indecencies with you. What more do you want from me?"

"A date?" Phil asks with hopeful eyes. "Expensive candlelit dinners, masquerade parties and ultimate trips to the zoo?"

"How about I take you to Starbucks?" Dan asks while running his hand up and down Phil's back to soothe his excitement.

"That's perfect," Phil nods, managing to look surprised that he didn't come up with the suggestion himself.

So they agree and laugh about it, hold onto each other and fall asleep; Phil with a smile playing on his lips and Dan with the comforting thought that he was not the only one to fall victim to the charm of the other.

* * *

-END-

Yes, it was a cheesy ending! I'm sorry. (Not really...)

Comment and criticize?


End file.
